You took my breath away. Why would you Mary Shelley when you could marry me? We both know that I am going to follow you home anyway, so why don't you just come along peacefully? Because you just abducted my heart. Why is it so hard to study the cardiovascular system? I believe you have stolen my heart. You must be related to Alfred Nobel because baby you are dynamite! Let me read you your fortune. Best part of the story: it totally worked. Is your dad a jewel thief? Jesus loves me, one day you will too! Do you like peanut butter? Do you have an eraser? It looks like you are made of it. What's important is it revealed Don Diebel had a website, and it's exactly what you'd expect.
Can you give me directions to your heart? Are you a bank loan? She'll think about it when you're inside her. How was heaven when you left it? My love for you is like dividing by zero. Because you make my heart skip a beat. I've learned a lot by reading Don Diebel's books. Our relationship is like caesium.
Whoever said that no one is perfect has never seen you. Because my genes need some modification. Are you made of Fluorine, Iodine, and Neon? You know the more I drink, the prettier you get! I just had to talk to you. Do you have a bad credit score? Do you know someone who repairs or sells a watch? Could I borrow a quarter? Someone out there might actually do it. None of the date was going well.
Politics also played a part. Yeah contact me through youtube for any questions or whatever. Can I have The Way of All Flesh with you? And these are not products for presentable men looking to enhance their desirability -- Getgirls. What are your other two wishes? But do that later, because we're about to enter the 2010s, the decade when Don Diebel truly lost his entire mind. Wanna be my Black Queen? Hi, I make more money than you can spend. You spend your afternoons looking for the least interesting alcoholic in Houston's Holiday Inn bars, and you're willing to be slapped and humiliated for the desperate, minuscule chance to destroy an already sad person's marriage. If I got a star for every time I thought of you, I would have a whole galaxy.
Let's put another shrimp on the barbie? My zygomaticus muscle contracts everytime I see you. . Read the first word in this sentence If I was your heart would you let me beat? Is your daddy a thief? Will you go out with me? I want to take your body to Wuthering Heights. Is there an airport nearby or is that my heart taking off? Welcome to my apartment — or, as the ladies like to call it, The Joy Luck Club. You seem like an interesting case—can I investigate you? What time do you have to be back in heaven? My sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia tells me I love you.
There is one good thing about this pick-up line, though: If the club is too noisy for her to hear you, you can communicate the exact same thing by sadly holding out a condom while your own pants fill with pee. As sad as this prayer is, it gets sadder. Do you know why they ring bells when it hits twelve o clock at midnight? Are you a ventromedial nucleus lesion? Mike looks up regularly to check his messages. It was pretty much the same book. I think I can die happy now. Do you have my other lung? My love for you burns stronger than my urinary tract infection! It was Don Diebel concluding that he would never learn if the Masters of the Universe Horde Slime Pit Playset actually did feel like a real-life blowjob.
It was a pick-up artist book written by a man, but for, get this, ladies. Care to find out why? It's reprinted one page later in the exact same section, word for word. You're eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean and baby, I'm all lost at sea. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause they sure made you a cutie pie! If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever. Can I take your temperature? Because heaven is a long way from here. Ask me on a date in front of my friend over there? Let's look at some excerpts 1982 first edition. Well then, how about a date? I just happen to be wearing the armour of God Ecclesiastics 3:11 says God has made everything beautiful in its own time… So, I guess your time.
There was no color in the world until I met you. Girl when you walked in that door your looks hit me so hard that I have a priapism from all the trauma. Want to share a cab… back to mine? My recipe for love is one cup of you, one cup of me, knead till hard, and serve hot. Then I guess kissing is out of the question, eh? You are like a proton in my core… Without you, I could never be the same. It's not my fault I fell in love. Can I borrow a quarter? By your own science, you've implanted yourself in her subconscious as the bar-clearing fart guy, Don. Fuck your frigid soul, Don Diebel.